- Wherever I go, people ask for directions
- Never been stung by a bee
- The ability to telepathically give people nosebleeds
- The ability to make people smell things that aren't there
- When someone talks, the ability to simutaneously say exactly what they're saying word-for-word
- Super-healing power for paper-cuts and hangnails
- The ability to unsderstand what ants are saying to each other
- The ability to tell your cholesterol level just by looking at you
- Control over public utilities
- The ability to see through carpet
- The ability to eat two eggs sunny side up using only the toast to scoop it up with
These are from my friend Terrell at work:
- Know people's typing speed
- Know the colors of any exotic fruit without ever seeing them
- Make people think midgets are pinching them
- Take sugar out of Kool-Aid
- Give people 4 gray hairs
- Know the name of all the editors of non-fiction books
- Change the color of armadillos
- White out powers
- Make enemies sound like game show hosts
To make squirrels make their squirrely
sound (It's like a retarded bird, but I can't really say retarded bird because the English might think I'm talking about mentally
Extinguish cigarettes without touching
Swim in the Ganges and only become infected with
one horrible disease.
The ability to control people's minds,
but only when it comes to deciding whether to buy whole milk versus skim.
The ability to exsanguinate mosquitos.
The ability to change definitions in
a dictionary (Not that it would make the changed definition -true-. Whoever found it--and realized it wasn't correct--would
probably grumble and toss the dictionary out. I suppose somebody selling a certain brand of dictionary would find this useful.
Ruin the others and make them buy yours! Let them flip through and see the words correspond with correct definitions. Yes!
The person with this power could even hold demonstrations with songs and rallying where people bring their dictionaries and
compare them to The True Dictionary. . .unbeknownst to the participant the salesman is changing definitions in their dictionary
as they walk up to the podium. I suppose the dumbness of this super power is relative. The salesman might become rich and
satisfied, but then again he might become rich and lose his mind as the anguish of ruining all those perfectly fine dictionaries
destroys his soul and he eventually commits suicide. Who knows. Well, regardless of the long-term effects, it *would* be a
pretty dumb super power.)