Superheroes are amazing. They can fly and knock down buildings. Some of them burst into flames or control electricity or the weather. But that's not what's amazing about them. If you read enough comic books or watch enough cartoons you get so used to it that someone's powers are the least impressive thing about them. I don't think people who make the comic books have ever learned that because they keep trying to come up with weirder and more different powers, like a man who can make people vomit or turn his whole body to paste (whose arch-nemesis is The Geek, who eats paste).

Another amazing thing about super-heroes is that they all have skin-tight outfits with capes, sidekicks, arch-enemies, and dorky cars and stuff. Its like they all read the same how-to manual and it hasn't been updated since 1938. To be fair, there is some variation in these things. Not a lot, but some. Anyway, these things are all outward signs of being a superhero, just like their powers.

No, the truly, ultimately super-amazing thing about superheroes is, put simply, that they are superheroes. They have some kind of accident or find some magic beans, or they take part in some kind of experiment or just develop some weird mutation, then they discover that they have these awesome, kick-ass powers, and the first thing that occurs to them is "Hey, now I can fight crime!"

There are some exceptions. The Incredible Hulk didn't do that, but then, he's not really a hero. Spider-Man started off by trying to become a celebrity, until he learned that "with great power comes great responsibility". How he got from "great responsibility" to "put on a skin-tight costume and fight crime" isn't really clear; most people, you'd think, would still try to become celebrities and just not hurt anybody. I mean, the story goes that he let some criminal get away who ran right past him, because it wasn't his problem, and then when that same criminal killed his Uncle Ben (which first of all is an almost astronomically impossible coincidence, and second of all every time I hear "Uncle Ben" I think that Spider-Man is heir to an instant rice fortune but whatever), Peter Parker decided to forego becoming a celebrity and made a vow to fight crime in all its forms. But for almost anyone else in the universe the vow would start "The next time a criminal runs right past me in a hallway, I swear I'll...." Batman is also probably an exception to the last rule, which I know probably sounds weird because he has all the other stuff--the sidekick, the dorky car, etc. But I say this because 1) Batman has no powers and isn't really a superhero, and 2) Batman's decision to fight crime was brought about by childhood trauma and is explainable, at least, as an obsession bordering on psychosis. In a way, Batman never really decided to fight crime; he's more like one of those serial killers who act on impulse and who behaves in a fixed pattern, except in this case he doesn't kill people, he fights crime.

The reality is that, if suddenly granted superpowers, very few people would decide to use them to fight crime. I say this with confidence because very few people decide to fight crime without powers. I mean, there are people who decide to become police officers, and that is definitely fighting crime, except that no one in the comics says "Gosh, the police academy is sure to accept me now that I can fly and breathe underwater!"

If people suddenly started getting super-powers, the only things they would use them for are money, sex, and revenge against their enemies. That's because hardly anyone has what you would think of as being a super-power, and the only things they want now are money, sex, and revenge against their enemies. I'm not saying that people would immediately go out and start robbing and raping; I'm just saying that its how people are, and getting superpowers wouldn't change that.

Just the opposite. They'd start thinking of whose ass to kick first or what woman to impress. Then maybe they'd try to get on TV or just winning bets in bars. Eventually they'd get around to robbing banks or whatever, especially if they were bulletproof or invisible. Its human nature.

So in that sense, you would definitely wind up with lots of super-villains. Maybe even a few of them who obsess on details like Cat-Woman, who only steals things with the word "cat" in the name. Because there are a lot of freaks in the world just like that. If you don't believe me just go look at home pages on the internet and look at what some people make web pages for.

Once super-villains started popping up, then you might see a few heroes. But they'd just be approval-seeking dorks who wanted attention, and the first time a villain tried to kill him he'd run home crying.